Here are some points to know before you tie-the-knot. If you are engaged right now this is for you. If you are in a relationship and considering marriage in the near future, this is also for you. And if you are single and have a desire to be married someday, this entry is also for you. Just a little disclaimer, the thoughts you’ll about to read are based on personal experiences and realizations.
You won’t be in love everyday. I’m sorry to prick the fairytale bubble in your head this early, but it is what it is. The butterflies in your stomach will be gone in no time. The “can’t get enough of you” line will be blurry from time to time. Honeymoon phase will be over. Reality will kick in eventually. You are now two individuals living a very different life trying to merge it in one lifestyle. And your differences could make you fall out of love with your spouse every so often. But know that, these differences too are the ones that could make your relationship stronger if you deal with kindness and respect. This is where the next thought comes through.
You are now two individuals living a very different life trying to merge it in one lifestyle. And your differences could make you fall out of love with your spouse every so often. But know that, these differences too are the ones that could make your relationship stronger if you deal with kindness and respect.
Be open in communication. If you had this before getting married then good for both of you. But if you have struggles in this area, it’s okay it does not mean you could not get married but you both have to be intentional about handling this. Good and open communication is one among the important things to have in marriage. Because it means you can and you are trusting your spouse of your thoughts and feelings. And intent listening is a respect shown whenever one of you has to say something. Communicating well can lead to less drama and more fulfilling goal reaching or problem fixing moments. However, be gracious to yourself and your spouse too, no one is perfect and not everyone could easily grasp this idea. But that’s the beauty of marriage, you can work it through together!
Good and open communication is one among the important things to have in marriage. Because it means you can and you are trusting your spouse of your thoughts and feelings. And intent listening is a respect shown whenever one of you has to say something. Communicating well can lead to less drama and more fulfilling goal reaching or problem fixing moments.
Know the gravity of submission to your husband. Wives, this is very important. This command to submit to your spouse is in the bible. This is part of our responsibility towards our husband. Please know that submitting does not mean you are weak or controlled and you have to say yes to everything. It’s the other way around. When you submit to him, you are allowing God to move in your marriage by respecting the role He had blessed him. When you submit to him, you are strong enough to believe in his God-given part as the leader of your household. When you submit to your husband, you can speak out your thoughts but at the end of it you gotta put your confidence in his decision-making. Whether it will turn out successfully or fail, God will carry you both through. I know submitting could be hard sometimes. Your mind and heart will battle it out most of the time. You will want to control the situation. You will think your ways are better. But, your humility to accept your God-given role to submit every time it is tempting not to, is a blessing to your own household.
Please know that submitting does not mean you are weak or controlled and you have to say yes to everything. It’s the other way around. When you submit to him, you are allowing God to move in your marriage by respecting the role He had blessed him
But, your humility to accept your God-given role to submit every time it is tempting not to, is a blessing to your own household.
Know the gravity of leadership to your wife. Husbands, this matter is for you. You should be able to grasp this important role prior to marriage. Being a leader to your household, especially to your wife, is not just a task, it is a God-given role. It is in the bible. You are the head of the household. You are responsible to lead your wife and your family. You have the final say in making the decision. You are their map. It is your responsibility to build a deeper relationship with God because you are accountable to Him in the ways you are leading your wife and your children.
Praise in public, protect in private. This says it all, compliment your spouse especially in public. I once read somewhere that the way we speak behind our spouses to other people reflects more on us than them. That doesn’t mean you have to pull confettis everytime you talk about them but the good thing that comes out of your mouth is the very protection of your own marriage. Whatever it is that needs improvement about your spouse must be discussed within your marriage, between the two of you. Talk about all the ugly things in private, in your own space as a couple so you both can do better about it. If you needed help, trusted mentors might be a good help.
I once read somewhere that the way we speak behind our spouses to other people reflects more on us than them.
Love languages are changing too. Yes, it is. When your top love language is receiving gifts then you get married, and it’s now quality time? It is just normal. Remember, it’s part of your personal growth and it’s part of being influenced by marriage itself. What matters before doesn’t mean it should still when you tie the knot. Priorities are changing. Love languages are changing. Goals are changing. You are changing, and hopefully changing for the better in your God-given role as a spouse.
What matters before doesn’t mean it should still when you tie the knot. Priorities are changing. Love languages are changing. Goals are changing. You are changing, and hopefully changing for the better in your God-given role as a spouse.
There’s also different kinds of intimacy, it’s not only about sex. Physical is one. But there’s also emotional and spiritual intimacy that you have to always consider. You are both responsible for your sex life, emotional well-being and your prayer life/relationship with God.
It’s going to be different when you have your child/children. This could be a whole lot of blog entry to be discussed but what I can say here now is, it does really change. Marriage is very different from just being a couple to adding children in the picture. So maximize the time that there’s only the two of you, when God decides to bless you with children it’s going to be different but more meaningful.
In case you’ll forget, this is for better or for worse. This is the reality of marriage, in the heat of the moment it could easily slip out of our minds, that we promised not only for better but also for worse. When everything feels like falling apart, we tend to lose our focus from the things that matter. We tend to find each other as enemies rather than allies. But I hope that this small thought will remind us back to the truth, that marriage is for lifetime and that marriage can conquer whatever if we’ll only fight battles together. Remember, in marriage God is our ally!
These are just a few of what marriage would look like in reality. And I hope that before you say I Do, you have already considered some of these thoughts. No worries, if God calls you for marriage He’s got your backs! From being super in love to daydreaming of the future together, to having stupid fights and big battles in life, to staying for better or for worse, this is what married life is. So hang on, the two of you are just about to enter the most crazy but significant ride of your lives!
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